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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28419330">A little unsteady</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/glowingemberofgold/pseuds/glowingemberofgold'>glowingemberofgold</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jesper catches Wylan picking at his acne, Jesper gets even more upset, Jesper starts to cry because of Wylan's pain, M/M, Wylan tries to deny it, he gets upset about it, i haven't read Crooked Kingdom yet so it's probably not canon compliant, not cuts or anything serious, ok i'm done tagging now, please enjoy the angst, then he sees the marks on Wylan's arms and gets mad, these angels deserve better but this idea came to me and i coulnd't resist, they work it out don't worry, uuuhhh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:29:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>936</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28419330</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/glowingemberofgold/pseuds/glowingemberofgold</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Jesper catches Wylan picking at the acne on his face, he gets upset. Then he notices something on Wylan's arms and nearly shoots someone. Wyaln tries to deny what happened. Uuuhh, basically just them being sad.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jesper Fahey/Wylan Van Eck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>62</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A little unsteady</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi! I haven't been on here with a new fic in a while (mostly because I haven't been very motivated to write much), but I finished SoC the other night and got this idea. It made me sad to write but I liked the idea and I wanted to share with you lovely people.</p><p>TW: References to self-harm, picking at pimples, and digging nails into skin. Please do what you need to be safe</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Wylan leaned closer to the mirror, scrutinizing his face. His forehead was littered with acne, as was his nose. He hated the way it made him look, the way it made the raised skin red and gross-looking. </p><p>Raising his hands, he leaned against the vanity and used his nails to pop the pimples, shivering everytime one of them released a gush of puss. When a difficult one refused to release the grossness it held, he pressed harder, leaving backwards crescents along his skin. Crescents that matched the ones running up and down his inner forearm, red and ugly.</p><p>“You know,” a voice said from the doorway, “I really hate it when you do that.”</p><p>“What do you care if I squeeze these stupid pimples?” Wylan asked, with more venom than he’d meant to. “It’s not like I could get any uglier.”</p><p>Jesper flinched at that. </p><p>“Because,” he said slowly, “I can’t stand to see you hurt yourself. It makes me sad to see you pick at yourself like that. And you’re not ugly. You are beautifully brilliant and dashingly handsome.”</p><p>Wylan snorted. As if he was handsome. That’s what Jesper was for. He was the beauty out of the two of them. </p><p>“What? It’s true! You are very handsome. So please stop pulling yourself apart.”</p><p>Wylan glanced at him and swiftly tucked his arm into his side, hoping beyond hope that the other boy hadn’t noticed. Unfortunately, he had. </p><p>“What are you hiding?” Jesper asked and before Wylan could do or say anything, the Zemeni boy lunged forwards and grabbed his wrist, twisting it so that he could see.</p><p>His usually flirtatious and dark face went serious and unnaturally pale. “Wylan,” he said carefully, “What are these?”</p><p>“Nothing.”</p><p>The smaller boy tried to yank his arm away but Jesper was stronger and kept a firm hold on it.</p><p>“Wylan, answer me seriously, have you been hurting yourself?”</p><p>“What do you care? I’m just some stupid merchling, not one of your Dregs friends.” He tried to yank his arm away again, but this time Jesper beat him to it. He pressed Wylan against the vanity, still holding his arm.</p><p>“Have. You. Been. Hurting. Yourself,” Jesper hissed, less a question than a demand. He already knew the answer. </p><p>Wylan looked away and shook his head. “No, I haven’t. That was an accident.”</p><p>“It sure as fuck don’t look like an accident, Wylan. You either did it on purpose or a particularly organized cat got a hold of you. Answer me seriously and be careful about lying about it.”</p><p>Wylan felt anger bubble up into his chest, but it died quickly when he looked at Jesper’s face. It was so full of pain and sadness that it took all of Wylan’s will to not kiss him. </p><p>“Yes, I did that to myself. I was upset, so I dug my nails into my arm. It’s better than cutting, isn’t it?”</p><p>Jesper paled again, fury dancing in his eyes. He released Wylan’s arm and a single tear slid down his cheek. </p><p>“Don’t tell me you’ve cut,” Jesper said, his voice a deadly whisper. </p><p>“I can’t say I haven’t thought about it,” he admitted. </p><p>That seemed to break an internal dam in Jesper. His eyes welled up and tears began to flow freely down his cheeks. He reached up to cup Wylan’s cheek and brushed the tears that had dripped there. </p><p>“Is that because of your father?”</p><p>Wylan couldn’t do anything but nod. </p><p>“Oh Wylan, I’m so sorry.” His arms encircled Wylan’s waist and his head came to rest on his shoulder. Wylan stood there, feeling lost and tired. The feeling of Jesper’s shoulders shaking against him, his tears soaking through his shirt, what not something that Wylan had ever thought would happen. He slowly hugged Jesper back.</p><p>When Jesper pulled back, his eyes were red and puffy. </p><p>“Wylan,” he said quietly, “You do know that no one but you is allowed to dictate your worth, right? Not your father, not me, not anyone. Please never act upon those thoughts, I beg of you, and I don’t beg. If I ever find out that you’re cutting I’ll drag you to Nina and make her drop you into a coma until I can figure out a way to make you stop. Got that?”</p><p>Wylan nodded solemnly before pulling Jesper into a bone-crushing hug. With a jolt he realized that they were both crying again. </p><p>    “I’m sorry,” he mumbled into Jesper’s chest. And he was, sorry. He was sorry that his pain had put Jesper- the boy he loved- in pain. He was sorry that he’d snapped. He was sorry that Jesper had found out about the thoughts the way he had. He was sorry that he hadn’t gone to Jesper sooner to explain. He was sorry that he’d lied to Jesper about it. </p><p>“Don’t be,” Jesper said, pulling back to cup Wylan’s tear-soaked face. “As long as you are alive and telling me the truth, there is nothing to be sorry about. Got that?”</p><p>Wylan nodded again, feeling like his head might fall off of his neck if he did any more nodding. </p><p>“Good. Now, come to bed. We can talk about this more in the morning, alright?”</p><p>Wylan gave Jesper a shaky smile, fully aware of the fact that they were both still crying.</p><p>Once they’d both climbed into bed, with Jesper wrapped around Wylan like he was afraid he’d disappear, Wylan muttered, “I love you.”</p><p>He didn’t think that the older boy had heard him, for he did not respond for a long while.</p><p>“I love you too,” he answered finally.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you enjoyed reading this. I felt really bad writing it, it made me want to cry. Please leave comments and kudos and let me know what you want to see me write next.<br/>Shoutout to anyone who can guess what the title is from. Also, see if you can find my Anne with an E quote in there<br/>Thanks for reading, have a safe and wonderful New Year!  :)<br/>Also thanks to my beta reader, itsanna222</p></blockquote></div></div>
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